Teenage Relationships Lead Where?!

The topic of dating is always going be an issue in Student Ministry, but I'm not going to concede on this issue. I'm going continue to strive to teach Biblical aspects of what relationships ought to look like. As a Student Pastor there are many questions that come along my way concerning this topic:

•  "When am I ready to date?" 
• "Is this this the right person to date?" 
• "How should I teach my children about dating?" 
• "What should I be looking for in a relationship?'

These are all really good questions and I'm thankful we have parents and students who are curious about these questions. My perspective about teenage relationships has changed over the years. Confession time, when I was in High School I dated a girl for 3 1/2 years. I had absolutely no clue why I was in the relationship except for I really liked her, and as a teenage boy I thought she was cute. I'm thankful that she was a Godly young woman and had good intentions, but looking back on that relationship I was totally clueless. I had no business dating because I was only focused on myself and immediate happiness. 

Because of my understanding of personal immediate happiness in my dating relationship in High School, as a Student Pastor today I argue that "most" teenage students are not ready to date. Please don't hear me wrong or take this out of context, this is by no means inclusive for everyone but rather for your average student. Especially your average Christian teenager. What the Christian world has done is let the world dictate to them what a dating relationship is, how it functions, who's ready for it, and what it looks like.  1 Peter 2:20 (ESV) says:

For if, after they have escaped the defilements of the world through the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, they are again entangled in them and overcome, the last state has become worse for them than the first. 

Isn't this what happens with dating? The world changes it's meaning then our Christian teenagers get entangled in it. I mean the world is constantly telling us to date until we find that right person, but that doesn't seem to be a good biblical approach. For me, the purpose of any type of serious relationship with the opposite sex should be one that is looking ahead to marriage. Saying that, my stance is that teenagers and young adults who are looking for a serious relationship should consider the idea of courtship.


My idea of courtship might be a little bit different than others. Basically, courtship is the process in which you're looking for the person God wants you to marry. It's different than dating. Courtship is centered around accountability, where parents of both individuals have to agree that these individuals can pursue a deeper friendship. So the protection starts with the parents which is a biblical concept. Then the two individuals will spend time together in group settings to get to know each other more. The more they're in a group setting the more that they can have a hedge of protection around the relationship. You also in a group setting have accountability from your friends. So as you get to know this person more, you're seeking if God wants this relationship to go further.


This is the reason I believe "most" teenagers aren't ready for a dating or courtship relationship, because most of them are not ready for marriage. There is no reason to be in a relationship if marriage isn't a possibility in the somewhat near future. Along with that, courtship rather than dating protects oneself from a relationship that shouldn't take place. You find out that person isn't right for you, you don't gel with them, or simply you're not ready for a serious relationship. There are teenagers all the time that always been a relationship, going from one to another. That's not personally looking forward to marriage, but just immediate happiness. 


This is probably a very rare view, even for a Christian, but I want you to think what truly honors God most. Relationship after relationship, or waiting til you know God wants you to move forward with someone. The whole point of any relationship is looking forward to marriage and I just don't find many people who are interested in that type of relationship. I know at 16 and 18 years of age, I wasn't looking for that. Maybe parents and teenagers need to reconsider how they view relationships as a whole and seek out after God's will. 


Pastor Joe

Lack of prayer shows one depends way too much on self. 

Joe

Very good stuff, please read: 5 Signs You’re Spiritually Dead

Joe Mayes 

5 Signs You’re Spiritually Dead by: Pastor Mark Driscoll on Jun 06, 2012

“I know your works. You have the reputation of being alive, but you are dead.” Revelation 3:1

Jesus didn’t have anything nice to say to the church in Sardis. Then again, why should he? It wasn’t really even a church any longer. There were just a few faithful folks left. They had a reputation for being alive, but as Jesus says, they were dead. He wasn’t talking about a season of dryness where they were bothered by the lack of their passion for Jesus. The church in Sardis was disconnected from Jesus, and it didn’t bother them one bit. Jesus’ words to the church in Sardis are just as important for us to hear today. As the members of the body who make up the church, we are just as susceptible to decay and death as the people who made up the church in Sardis. So, we need to ask ourselves, “What is there in my life and the church that would lead Jesus to say the same thing about me and my church that he said to Sardis?” Here are five things to be aware of in your life and your church that may indicate you’re on a path of spiritual decay and death.